madkow
January 31st, 2006, 03:53 PM
Okay here's the setup.
Our one friend, "Zits", came in to the burgh for a weekend since his girlfriend's band was performing.
Our other friend "George" works for a local city paper and writes music reviews.
So a couple weeks after the show Zits asks for a copy of the review through me since he doesn't really know George. So here goes:
Zits:
wow, thats a pretty fucked review by our good buddy george. what a dick.
Me:
well, he calls it like he sees it. Thats why they call them critics... critical
I enjoyed it if that makes any difference.
Zits:
you see, the prblem here kyle (and this from a current editor and long-time journalist) is that you cant send someone UNQUALIFIED to wrote reviews. i was always begging my papers to let me review movies (and i have a minor in film and media from cmu) and theyd say i couldnt without the proper credentials. in the event i was allowed to write a review, if i couldnt write anything good then they wouldnt print it as they could get in trouble for a critical review from a non-certified writer. what credentials does george have to show he has music knowledge above any advacned audience? none. its really poor management on the part of his paper/editors. but it is especially fucked up that hed go to a friends show and write that stuff. in fact, he most likely did it because he's a dick and wanted to hurt me/my girl for kicking his ass in fantasy football. and i hope next time i see you you have him a around cause I WILL put my fist through his face for it. please forward this to him and also know that the band is looking into litigation against him and the front. there is legal precedent, believe it or not, to sue on the grounds of lible when you employ a writer to review a genre of art without proper credentials-- and as far as i can tell george probably when to CCAC. it could have been acceptable as an op-ed. thats where OPINION belongs, not is a music section where people will mistake the writer for someone with any knowledge of that art. ill say it again, what a dick. i am surprised you roll with that class of people.
Me:
woah hold your horses
First off its a shitty city paper with a circulation of under 100 is my guess
second off he went to PSU
third off you are taking this way to seriously
fourth you take this up with george not me, i did you favor so don't blast me
lastly, george can be stupid but he's not a dick. Well thats left for
judgement, but if you put your hand through his face for a shitty
review in a shitty paper that won't be around for much longer, you, I
and a bunch of other people are going to have a problem.
I like you zits and I'd like to keep it that way, but you need to
chill and not get upset over something so insignificant.
And if you do take the path of litigation I wouldn't expect much
because there is not much to get.
Zits:
yah doode, sorry. after a weekend of boarding i feel a bit more at peace and i apologize for railing into you, its not at all your fault. in fact, i invited your entire dlist so...
however, george is a big boy and wants to do big boy things like bring big negativity with his mighty pen (which is just a big no-no with me), so i do hope i see him again so i can take this up with him and when that happens i hope "you and a bunch of other people" allow him to continue to be a big boy and take his lumps like a man, alone. none of yo helped him write that so i dont see why youd need to help him defend himself. i know all about little twerps like that and why they write the way they do and they need to be dealt with and taught proper (i guess psu couldnt help him there but a cracked jaw will).
anyway, you guys should think about coming out easta bit further for some riding. VT or this place we just went to up in the Berkshires has pretty decent snow (i was surprised) and the farners almanac is calling for loads over average feb thru march. itd be good fun.
stay well
Me:
What exactly did you find negative?
Was it the reference to blaxploitation and GTA? I didn't find that
negative, actually thats what they sound like, some funk.
The flute and dancing being unnecessary? Whats wrong with that? Is
it that bad?
If anything there was more praise than criticism. He obviously
commended the horns for just picking up the arrangements. He said the
band was tight AND, i quote, "backup singer Evie Nagy and Morgan Fite
consistently outshined front woman Seskin". Um, thats true.
What the fuck is wrong with that. I could see if he dissed Morgan but
he actually gave her props.
Maybe I'm missing somehting. Maybe you were expecting a nice review
just because he's friends with us. Like you wanted him to
metaphorically suck the band's dick?
What did you expect? And that shit with litigation, you are out of
your fucking mind.
Look this is how I am. You fuck with my friends/family, you fuck with
me. Period.
Zits:
the problem here kyle is that george does not have the credentials or
qualifications to review music. i realize that the fact he was allowed
to write and publish his opinion in the form of an accredited review is
not his fault -- its the editor and publishers fault. hence the
litigation talk. it is text book lible, it would be an easy case to
win. luckily for them, the band cares less than i do. i get ramped up
because i am a journalist and i understand the unwritten code -- if
youre not qualified then YES, you kiss some ass and suck some dick if
youre going to try and pass off your opinion as anything else...
otherwise you dont write it.
the issue is compounded by the fact that george actually does know me
somewhat and should have been nicer, as far as pals go, to my girl and
her band. the revieve was in no way flatering -- likening a band to
video game is music is insulting to musicians not to mention it shows
his calous in music knowledge if all he can do is compare it to GTA.
your words "some funk" would have been simplier and played out nicer.
i know the exact kind of person george is now, just from that review.
people who are less secure in their ability tend to take a more cynical
approach and put people down so that when someone says "hey, this story
sucks" he can turn around and say "oh theyre just saying that cause i
wrote a bad review" when in fact he has no right even putting oen to
paper. i guess things are different here in the big city than out in
the small ountry towns, but that doesnt change the rules of ethics.
case in point, he wrote an even worse review about the first band...
lastly, i am surprised about your immature attitude of valor towards
you friends. i guess maybe youve known george for 15-20 years and so
you take offense to the fact that i am going to do him harm one day. an
easy retort to your mantra would be an eye for an eye. he hurt my girl
so ill hurt him. but its way beyond that. my problem lies with his
professional misuse of his journalistic powers as well as coming out
(unannounced i might add, also a courtesy he should have given to a
friends band) and writing such drivle. howd you like it if you sister
was in a play and we went out to support her and i wrote that the play
sucked and your sister was portly? ok, you might not be too pissed
because maybe you didnt like it too much either, but what if you got
home and found her crying on her bed? all she was trying to do was what
she loved and then you buddy, who knows zero about the theatre and had
no business being there came in and ripped her down? if that doesnt
define the word DICK then i dont know what world you live in.
anyway, thats all. theres no more to discuss. i work in this industry
and i know what this guy did was dick. so i am not going to sue him,
not going to call his editor and get him fired, not going to harrass
you anymore. but i will advise you that you would do well to keep him
out of my sight when next i visit the burgh is you love him so. cause
if i do see him the issue will get dealt with man to man, if nothing
else for my girls honor, and that you have to respect. if you or anyone
else choose to get in the way then that would be an ill-advised move
for you (ask jim for more on that) and i would really hate for it to
happen as this should not affect our friendship, so i hope you dont let
it.
Me:
OK, maybe you can explain something to me. I'm just curious and I
still don't get some things.
Where exactly do you get credentials to review anything, in this case
music. Does he have to be a musician? What about sports
reporters/reviewers, did they have to play the sport? I mean is there
some sort of certification class I need to go to? Can I get a degree
so that I am qualified to review anything? What exact credentials
are you talking about? Is their a class or something?
I think what you mean is that a paper will not let someone write a
review without some sort of experience. Because the readers will go,
"Who the fuck is this?". Is that it?
Second Libel is defined as such,in short:
"A false statement that negatively affects someone's reputation"
Um, so if George said the lead singer was a man and not a woman, that
would technically be slander/libel. I pretty much thought that if you
state your opinion it was protected under free speech. Maybe I'm
wrong. In no way did I find any of the information in the article
false. Actually I don't see what you are so excited about. He
didn't pan the band, he didn't say they sucked. Maybe it wasn't "Oh
this band is great I love them article", but he didn't say "They suck,
don't see them" either.
Can I ask, have you ever played GTA. The music he is referring to is
from a radio station in the game that played real music. I mean like
real funk from real funk bands. If you'd like a list of the
songs/bands I'm sure I can dig them up. Maybe not the best analogy
but many of us here got it. I guess us small country town folks are
not that dim.
You might call me immature, but in a previous email you said:
"I WILL put my fist through his face for it"
If thats not a threat I don't know what is. And I take offence to
someone threatening my friends.
I am also a little suprised by your elitist attitude since you live in
big bad NYC. Like we are all a bunch of hicks down here. From all of
us, thpbbbt. If we are a bunch of hicks what the fuck do you care
about a small time paper.
Zits:
youre a smart guy, or so you think. why dont you call up a paper and
tell them you want to be their music critic -- when they ask what
qualifies you for such an endeavor tell them you play video games. make
sure you tell them its real funk band music though...fucking dumbass,
stop wasting my time with irrational arguementation before i lose all
my respect for yinzers ;-)
Me:
Fair enuff. I've wasted enough time even responding to your baseless
arguments and irrational behavior. I though you were cooler than
that.
The End
Oh, here is the review by the way:
"Coming in from the New York/New Jersey metro area was the groove funk collective Blue Number Nine. Blue's sound falls between that of a soundtrack to a blaxploitation flick and Fever 105 on GTA: Vice City. Despite some disorganization: The door guy and the Merch guy did not make the trip. The horn section never played with the band before and was emailed the songs prior to the show to learn. One horn arrangement was even written the morning of the show. The band overcame adversity to play a good set, which was highlighted by originals "The Telephone Game," "Okay to Fight" and a funky version of CSN's "Love The One You're With." Frontwoman Stephanie Seskin's childhood instrument must have been the flute, being as she incorporated into her band. The flute along with the synchronized dancing at times felt unnecessary. The band played tight and backup singer Evie Nagy and Morgan Fite consistently outshined front woman Seskin. "
I know a long read and most of us have the attention span of a bug, but thanks for making it this far.
Opinons/thoughs/comments welcome
Our one friend, "Zits", came in to the burgh for a weekend since his girlfriend's band was performing.
Our other friend "George" works for a local city paper and writes music reviews.
So a couple weeks after the show Zits asks for a copy of the review through me since he doesn't really know George. So here goes:
Zits:
wow, thats a pretty fucked review by our good buddy george. what a dick.
Me:
well, he calls it like he sees it. Thats why they call them critics... critical
I enjoyed it if that makes any difference.
Zits:
you see, the prblem here kyle (and this from a current editor and long-time journalist) is that you cant send someone UNQUALIFIED to wrote reviews. i was always begging my papers to let me review movies (and i have a minor in film and media from cmu) and theyd say i couldnt without the proper credentials. in the event i was allowed to write a review, if i couldnt write anything good then they wouldnt print it as they could get in trouble for a critical review from a non-certified writer. what credentials does george have to show he has music knowledge above any advacned audience? none. its really poor management on the part of his paper/editors. but it is especially fucked up that hed go to a friends show and write that stuff. in fact, he most likely did it because he's a dick and wanted to hurt me/my girl for kicking his ass in fantasy football. and i hope next time i see you you have him a around cause I WILL put my fist through his face for it. please forward this to him and also know that the band is looking into litigation against him and the front. there is legal precedent, believe it or not, to sue on the grounds of lible when you employ a writer to review a genre of art without proper credentials-- and as far as i can tell george probably when to CCAC. it could have been acceptable as an op-ed. thats where OPINION belongs, not is a music section where people will mistake the writer for someone with any knowledge of that art. ill say it again, what a dick. i am surprised you roll with that class of people.
Me:
woah hold your horses
First off its a shitty city paper with a circulation of under 100 is my guess
second off he went to PSU
third off you are taking this way to seriously
fourth you take this up with george not me, i did you favor so don't blast me
lastly, george can be stupid but he's not a dick. Well thats left for
judgement, but if you put your hand through his face for a shitty
review in a shitty paper that won't be around for much longer, you, I
and a bunch of other people are going to have a problem.
I like you zits and I'd like to keep it that way, but you need to
chill and not get upset over something so insignificant.
And if you do take the path of litigation I wouldn't expect much
because there is not much to get.
Zits:
yah doode, sorry. after a weekend of boarding i feel a bit more at peace and i apologize for railing into you, its not at all your fault. in fact, i invited your entire dlist so...
however, george is a big boy and wants to do big boy things like bring big negativity with his mighty pen (which is just a big no-no with me), so i do hope i see him again so i can take this up with him and when that happens i hope "you and a bunch of other people" allow him to continue to be a big boy and take his lumps like a man, alone. none of yo helped him write that so i dont see why youd need to help him defend himself. i know all about little twerps like that and why they write the way they do and they need to be dealt with and taught proper (i guess psu couldnt help him there but a cracked jaw will).
anyway, you guys should think about coming out easta bit further for some riding. VT or this place we just went to up in the Berkshires has pretty decent snow (i was surprised) and the farners almanac is calling for loads over average feb thru march. itd be good fun.
stay well
Me:
What exactly did you find negative?
Was it the reference to blaxploitation and GTA? I didn't find that
negative, actually thats what they sound like, some funk.
The flute and dancing being unnecessary? Whats wrong with that? Is
it that bad?
If anything there was more praise than criticism. He obviously
commended the horns for just picking up the arrangements. He said the
band was tight AND, i quote, "backup singer Evie Nagy and Morgan Fite
consistently outshined front woman Seskin". Um, thats true.
What the fuck is wrong with that. I could see if he dissed Morgan but
he actually gave her props.
Maybe I'm missing somehting. Maybe you were expecting a nice review
just because he's friends with us. Like you wanted him to
metaphorically suck the band's dick?
What did you expect? And that shit with litigation, you are out of
your fucking mind.
Look this is how I am. You fuck with my friends/family, you fuck with
me. Period.
Zits:
the problem here kyle is that george does not have the credentials or
qualifications to review music. i realize that the fact he was allowed
to write and publish his opinion in the form of an accredited review is
not his fault -- its the editor and publishers fault. hence the
litigation talk. it is text book lible, it would be an easy case to
win. luckily for them, the band cares less than i do. i get ramped up
because i am a journalist and i understand the unwritten code -- if
youre not qualified then YES, you kiss some ass and suck some dick if
youre going to try and pass off your opinion as anything else...
otherwise you dont write it.
the issue is compounded by the fact that george actually does know me
somewhat and should have been nicer, as far as pals go, to my girl and
her band. the revieve was in no way flatering -- likening a band to
video game is music is insulting to musicians not to mention it shows
his calous in music knowledge if all he can do is compare it to GTA.
your words "some funk" would have been simplier and played out nicer.
i know the exact kind of person george is now, just from that review.
people who are less secure in their ability tend to take a more cynical
approach and put people down so that when someone says "hey, this story
sucks" he can turn around and say "oh theyre just saying that cause i
wrote a bad review" when in fact he has no right even putting oen to
paper. i guess things are different here in the big city than out in
the small ountry towns, but that doesnt change the rules of ethics.
case in point, he wrote an even worse review about the first band...
lastly, i am surprised about your immature attitude of valor towards
you friends. i guess maybe youve known george for 15-20 years and so
you take offense to the fact that i am going to do him harm one day. an
easy retort to your mantra would be an eye for an eye. he hurt my girl
so ill hurt him. but its way beyond that. my problem lies with his
professional misuse of his journalistic powers as well as coming out
(unannounced i might add, also a courtesy he should have given to a
friends band) and writing such drivle. howd you like it if you sister
was in a play and we went out to support her and i wrote that the play
sucked and your sister was portly? ok, you might not be too pissed
because maybe you didnt like it too much either, but what if you got
home and found her crying on her bed? all she was trying to do was what
she loved and then you buddy, who knows zero about the theatre and had
no business being there came in and ripped her down? if that doesnt
define the word DICK then i dont know what world you live in.
anyway, thats all. theres no more to discuss. i work in this industry
and i know what this guy did was dick. so i am not going to sue him,
not going to call his editor and get him fired, not going to harrass
you anymore. but i will advise you that you would do well to keep him
out of my sight when next i visit the burgh is you love him so. cause
if i do see him the issue will get dealt with man to man, if nothing
else for my girls honor, and that you have to respect. if you or anyone
else choose to get in the way then that would be an ill-advised move
for you (ask jim for more on that) and i would really hate for it to
happen as this should not affect our friendship, so i hope you dont let
it.
Me:
OK, maybe you can explain something to me. I'm just curious and I
still don't get some things.
Where exactly do you get credentials to review anything, in this case
music. Does he have to be a musician? What about sports
reporters/reviewers, did they have to play the sport? I mean is there
some sort of certification class I need to go to? Can I get a degree
so that I am qualified to review anything? What exact credentials
are you talking about? Is their a class or something?
I think what you mean is that a paper will not let someone write a
review without some sort of experience. Because the readers will go,
"Who the fuck is this?". Is that it?
Second Libel is defined as such,in short:
"A false statement that negatively affects someone's reputation"
Um, so if George said the lead singer was a man and not a woman, that
would technically be slander/libel. I pretty much thought that if you
state your opinion it was protected under free speech. Maybe I'm
wrong. In no way did I find any of the information in the article
false. Actually I don't see what you are so excited about. He
didn't pan the band, he didn't say they sucked. Maybe it wasn't "Oh
this band is great I love them article", but he didn't say "They suck,
don't see them" either.
Can I ask, have you ever played GTA. The music he is referring to is
from a radio station in the game that played real music. I mean like
real funk from real funk bands. If you'd like a list of the
songs/bands I'm sure I can dig them up. Maybe not the best analogy
but many of us here got it. I guess us small country town folks are
not that dim.
You might call me immature, but in a previous email you said:
"I WILL put my fist through his face for it"
If thats not a threat I don't know what is. And I take offence to
someone threatening my friends.
I am also a little suprised by your elitist attitude since you live in
big bad NYC. Like we are all a bunch of hicks down here. From all of
us, thpbbbt. If we are a bunch of hicks what the fuck do you care
about a small time paper.
Zits:
youre a smart guy, or so you think. why dont you call up a paper and
tell them you want to be their music critic -- when they ask what
qualifies you for such an endeavor tell them you play video games. make
sure you tell them its real funk band music though...fucking dumbass,
stop wasting my time with irrational arguementation before i lose all
my respect for yinzers ;-)
Me:
Fair enuff. I've wasted enough time even responding to your baseless
arguments and irrational behavior. I though you were cooler than
that.
The End
Oh, here is the review by the way:
"Coming in from the New York/New Jersey metro area was the groove funk collective Blue Number Nine. Blue's sound falls between that of a soundtrack to a blaxploitation flick and Fever 105 on GTA: Vice City. Despite some disorganization: The door guy and the Merch guy did not make the trip. The horn section never played with the band before and was emailed the songs prior to the show to learn. One horn arrangement was even written the morning of the show. The band overcame adversity to play a good set, which was highlighted by originals "The Telephone Game," "Okay to Fight" and a funky version of CSN's "Love The One You're With." Frontwoman Stephanie Seskin's childhood instrument must have been the flute, being as she incorporated into her band. The flute along with the synchronized dancing at times felt unnecessary. The band played tight and backup singer Evie Nagy and Morgan Fite consistently outshined front woman Seskin. "
I know a long read and most of us have the attention span of a bug, but thanks for making it this far.
Opinons/thoughs/comments welcome